do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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