yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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