i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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