Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
