why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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