youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
