How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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