Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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