I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
