she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
