those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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