did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
