mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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