I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
