Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
