Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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