When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
