you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
