I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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