help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
