I think im going to throw up on grandma
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
