Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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