The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
