R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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