im holly from the hills drunk
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
