3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
