Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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