I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
