Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I will be naked everywhere
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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