I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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