Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
