don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize