Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
