please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
