So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
