they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
