If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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