Are we in a gay sports bar?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
