is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
