I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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