wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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