dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize