I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
