His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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