Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize