he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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