Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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