I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I came so hard my ears popped.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
