His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
