I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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