it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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