its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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