just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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