Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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