Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
