no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
