I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
