I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
