I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
