Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize