Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize