I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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