I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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