I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
