the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
