It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
